This is Professor Ward Churchill. From the right,

he looks like the offspring of an illicit relationship

between Godzilla and the Creature from the

Black Lagoon. From the left, he looks like a guy

who needs to get a haircut, lose some weight, and

wear a white sport coat with a pink carnation.

The Professor was displeased when it

was disclosed he always wears a jacket

to cover his Ward Churchill tattoos.