Even as a small boy, Scott McClellan honed the

skills he would use later as a spokesman for

President Bush.

"My mother, Carol Keeton McClellan Rylander Strayhorn,

has been married so many times that only

this index finger is biologically related to her."

Asked what she would do if one of her daughters

were raped and became pregnant,

South Dakota Senator Julie Bartling replied:

"Like Scott McClellan, I'm not into hypotheticals."

"Calm down, Dave.

I just washed my hands in Pilate's washbowl,

and they are now completely clean.

See."