Nihilistic Determinist Adopts Novel Anti-Choice, Anti-Life

Stance on the Abortion Issue

Former senator Zell Miller believes abortion is the

cause of today's military manpower shortage, Social

Security crisis, and illegal immigration. He also

believes that raising your right arm and saying, "Sieg

Heil," just means "Have a nice day."

Governor Rounds to Add

South Dakota's Wombs

to His Real Estate Empire

Senator Greenfield couldn't understand

why eHarmony's Compatibility Matching System

hadn't worked for him.

"Need a hunting license or abortion ban?

Well, come on over to Greenfield's Short Stop

and we'll fix you right up."