In retirement, Republican Representative

John Doolittle intends to do even less.

One day after this picture was taken, the

panhandler, who goes by the name of Hitchhiker, was

hired as a fundraiser by Congressman John Doolittle.

Cryptic Message Intercepted on the Internet Baffles NSA

Loosely translated, it reads:

"Noe and Ney Doolittle to DeLay Scooter

or to Jack Dick as Bush Burns"

"If anyone else in this House

asseverates or insinuates that

I, John Doolittle, do little,

I'm going to do even less."

These are name-brand suits from California,

John Doolittle and Ted Gaines.

It's easy to tell them apart:

one wears glasses

and the other one doesn't.

Representative John Doolittle (on the left)

and his wife, Julie (on the right),

were delighted by the advance screening of

Planet of the Japes, starring

Brent Wilkes, Ed Buckham, and Jack Abramoff.