Mitt Romney, who has portrayed himself as a Washington

outsider and blasted his opponents’ ties to lobbyists, has

13 federally-registered lobbyists raising money for his

campaign and several other lobbyists serving as his

advisers. Why are we not surprised by this duplicity?

Texas Republican candidate for the U. S. House of Representatives

Dean Hrbacek mailed out a campaign brochure the other day

which contains a picture of

his head photoshopped on another man's much slimmer body.

Ironically, the candidate's website features the headline,

"Republican Dean Hrbacek Exposes Opponents

Resume Enhancements."

"And if I'm elected President, all illegal immigrants will be

deported, all people with AIDS will be quarantined, all

homosexuals will be exiled to Ganymede, the Constitution will

be replaced by God's Will, everybody will be required to keep

and bear arms, a squirrel will be in every popcorn popper,

and the Confederate flag will fly over everything.

Come, Lord Jesus!"

Time-Lapse Photograph of Mitt Romney's Position

on the Issues Over the Past Ten Years

New Mason-Dixon Poll Shows McCain and Huckabee

Redneck and Redneck in South Carolina

In retirement, Republican Representative

John Doolittle intends to do even less.

Something like thirty Republican representatives

in Congress have announced their retirement and

are now what Americans call 'lame ducks'.

(In China, they are called 'dried ducks'.)

South Carolina Republican Presidential Debate

Additional Proof That Dinosaurs Still Exist

Giuliani Airlines Flight 911 Hits a Patch of Rough Air

Fred Thompson's Road to the White House

The Two Faces of Lindsey Graham

"The Army Field Manual as a one-stop shop to guide the way we handle lawful combatants and enemy combatants is absolutely necessary if for no other reason than to protect our own troops.... [I]f you want to torture people, the Army Field Manual says no and the President says no. It is now time for Congress to say no."

October 5, 2005

"I think quite frankly applying the Army field manual to the CIA would be ill-advised and would destroy a program that I think is lawful and helps the country."

December 14, 2007

On tonight's episode of You Bet Your Life, the

secret word was 'Bush'. Since none of the guests

ever uttered it, the wooden Indian never dropped

and the contestants didn't win $100.

"Democratic Party? Republican Party? Who gives a

shit! We Rockefellers are only in it for the money."

"Fred's agreed to play Dives the rich man in the Christmas

pageant. How about you playing Lazarus, the beggar

covered with sores?"

"I distinctly remember hearing you say we were

going on a 'blimp tour', Congressman Paul!"

Tom Tancredo, Republican Eliminationist, Hires Illegal

Immigrants to Renovate His Commodious McMansion

Outpopulated by Blacks and overrun by Mexicans,

Arkansas Republican State Senator Denny Altes

now realizes he should have spent more time making

babies with his wife and less time sending email to the

former mayor of Forth Smith.

If you stare at Republican Representative Adam Putnam

for ten seconds, you will be permanently immunized

against the notion of Intelligent Design. Stare at him

longer than that and you run the risk of irreversible

brain damage.

Aerial View of Republican YouTube Debate

Dennis Hastert has made his departure from Congress official

by resigning his seat as of 10:59 p. m., just in time for his

11:00 o'clock feeding.