World's Worst Yobs #14

Tucker Carlson

Q: Why do conservative geeks like

Eliot Cohen,

George Will,

and Tucker Carlson, all wear bowties?

A: Because that's what Mama made them wear

when they were little boys.

In his first appearance on television since his

risible performance on Dancing with the Stars,

Tucker Carlson was asked why he sat in the chair

while his partner, Elena Grinenko, gyrated on the

dance floor. "Well," he replied, "I thought 'Cha-Cha'

was Spanish for 'Lap Dance'."

When it was revealed that his

Scooter Libby TV lovefests might have

some relation to his father's role as an

advisor to the Libby Legal Defense Trust,

Tucker Carlson remained tight-lipped.

"To think that my father is the Richard

Carlson who starred in I Led Three Lives

is even more ridiculous than my bowtie."