Alaska Republican State Representative Pete Kott Sells

Soul to the Devil for the Price of a Used Riding Lawnmower

Revenge of the Creature

His father famously described the Internet as "a series

of tubes." So, it's not surprising that Ben Stevens wears

a Looney Tunes tie.

What was at first thought to be Senator Ted Stevens has turned

out to be a series of cleverly-disguised tubes for funneling

large quantities of your tax dollars to Alaska.

Alaska Congressional Delegation Proudly Announces

Opening of New Bridge to Nowhere

Senator Ted Stevens is not a big truck. He's a series of tubes

connecting Washington, DC, to Alaska, the GOP Welfare State.

In his bid for re-election as Governor of Alaska,

Frank Murkowski got only 19% of the vote in

the Republican primary. Analysts say the only

people who voted for him were members of his

extended corporate welfare family.

"Horse manure!

Can you imagine me in bermuda shorts?

And my name is not Koop, goddammit!"