Legend has it that Doug Feith was once a rodent that accidentally

got trapped under a wall-to-wall carpet laid in Dick Cheney's bunker.

Thinking it was a pack of cigarettes he had mislaid, the carpetlayer, not

wanting to rip up the carpet, smashed the lump flat with a hammer.

Just then, Lynne's voice was heard upstairs:

"Dick, where's my gerbil?"

Doug Feith sorta got roughed up by the Pentagon's

Inspector General, didn't he?

"The Office of Special Plans," says Doug Feith, "has been smeared

for years by allegations that its pre-Iraq-war work was somehow

'unlawful' or 'unauthorized' and that some information it gave

to congressional committees was deceptive or misleading. WMDs

were in Iraq and they still are; you just can't see them. And when

Saddam Hussein married Osama bin Laden, he gave his bride

the destruction of the World Trade Center as a wedding present."

This blurry image of Doug Feith reflects the lack of 'granularity' in

the intelligence his Office of Special Plans supplied in the run-up

to the Iraq War. In other words, it should all have been taken with

many more grains of salt.

Doug Feith, former Deputy Undersecretary for Defense

Policy and director of the Pentagon Office of Special

Plans, now teaches at the Georgetown University

Walsh School of Foreign Service. He is waiting to

see if he will put the long-awaited Pentagon Inspector

General's report on the Office of Special Plans on his

reading list for his popular course in techniques

of faking intelligence.