Who God Had in Mind When He Created

the 'Greedy Bastard' Species

Utah is a nice place to visit. But if you stay there too long, you

run the risk of turning into a moral husk, like Orrin Hatch.

This man is now the Dean of the College of Family,

Home, and Social Sciences at Brigham Young University.

When the documentary, This Divided State, was slated to

be shown on his campus, he tried to stop it, realizing that it

reflected badly on the reddest of the Red States, a state that

still gives President Bush a 55% approval rating, almost twenty

points above the national average. That's the good news.

The bad news is that (1) scientific tests have proved that the

Dean's name and face are perfectly matched, and (2) Jesus'

General is on his case.