U. S. Decisively Outflags Japan

"How interesting! From this point of view,

George Bush's world makes perfect sense."

Stefan Holm Wins World Spine-Snapping Championship;

Gold Medal to Be Awarded Posthumously

"Zeke, I told you to lay off the fabric softener.

Now look at you!"

Winner of USA Outdoor Turkey Toss Barbecues Trophy,

Eats It

Hurdling is a sport where having the biggest balls is only a handicap.

Having overcome many hurdles, Gregory and Marcel

embraced each other as a sign of their undying love.