U. S. Decisively Outflags Japan

Asia Waiting for the Mighty U. S. to Come to Bat

Bush to Urge U.N. to Spread Freedom; Secretary-General

to Say U. S. at Top of His List

After a long illness, Democracy in America has died

from Bush Derangement Syndrome. The carcass will be

buried in Arlington National Cemetery as soon as Alexis

de Tocqueville is able to clear customs and perform

the graveside ceremony.

Automobiles are only 'Subtotaled' in the United States.

In Iraq, they are 'Grand Totaled'.

Hanging in the 'Hood, American-Style

Hanging in the 'Hood, Iranian-Style