It was pretty obvious the President had been doing a

lot of business with Ayad Allawi, the Iraqi rug merchant.

"You must understand that not all voters are created equal.

Mr. al-Maliki was only elected by the Iraqi people. I am being

elected by U. S. Senators and the CIA."

"I, Ayad Allawi, have paid $300,000 to Haley Barbour, the

Governor of Mississippi, to install me in place of the

democratically-elected Governor of Alabama. And I

expect results within one or two Friedman Units!

Or else!"