Erik the Viking Explaining Why Roger Ebert Was Unjustified

in Giving Blackwater: the Movie a 'Zero Stars' Review

"Senior intelligence officials were wrong about Iraq

having WMD in 2003, so they're probably wrong about

Iran not having WMD in 2007. It's called a Catch-43."

"And now, ladies and gentlemen, The Petraeus Boys will play

'The Hymn to Body Armor for Four Hands and Concertina'."

Rare Iraqi Cardinal Placed on Endangered Species List

Citing economies of scale and the importance of competitve

balance, War Czar Douglas Lute is calling for the merger

of all conflicts in the Middle East and South Asia--in

Iraq, Iran, Pakistan, Israel/Palestine, and Afghanistan--

into one general megawar. "For want of a better term,

let's just call it World War III," he says.

Turkey Quarantined After Attempting to

Invade Northern Iraq

Are you in the market for a pre-owned Armored Personnel Carrier?

The Iraqi street price right now is at an all-time low, so if you're

interested, you'd better act pronto.

The doctor could tell that giving the patient a

complete physical was going to be problematic.

"On this, Ann Coulter and I agree: women are so stupid

they shouldn't be allowed to vote."

Howard Krongard knows that in Iraq the dress code

is Armored Casual and you always BYOB (Bring Your

Own Bomb).

Ryan Crocker, U. S. Ambassador to Iraq, doesn't spend

much time outdoors in sunny Baghdad, where the

temperature climbs to 130 degrees in the summer. Instead,

he spends most of his time keeping cool in the Paleface Zone.

Chestnuts Roasting By An Open Fire

It was pretty obvious the President had been doing a

lot of business with Ayad Allawi, the Iraqi rug merchant.

Entire World Stupefied by the Latest in a Series of

Unannounced, 'Surprise' Visits to Iraq by President Bush

"You must understand that not all voters are created equal.

Mr. al-Maliki was only elected by the Iraqi people. I am being

elected by U. S. Senators and the CIA."

Allegories for Our Time #2

ExxonMobil and Iraq

(the StonyPillow Cut)

Allegories for Our Time #1

ExxonMobil and Iraq

"I, Ayad Allawi, have paid $300,000 to Haley Barbour, the

Governor of Mississippi, to install me in place of the

democratically-elected Governor of Alabama. And I

expect results within one or two Friedman Units!

Or else!"

In the Iraqi meat market, ministers come in eight

grades: Prime, Choice, Select, Standard, Commercial,

Utility, Cutter, and Canner. Nouri al-Maliki, once

graded Prime, was recently downgraded to Canner.

The Potrzebie Prize #1

Alberto Gonzales Recognized for His Many

Contributions to the Rule of Law in Iraq