"Funny, Karen, Jim Glassman doesn't kiss on the lips, either."

"Karen Hughes has carried out her work as the President's

Sycophant-in-Chief in spectacular fashion."

Although polls show no improvement in the world's view of the

U.S. since she took over, Karen Hughes did manage to get the

budget for public diplomacy doubled to over $900 million annually.

When she heard she had resigned as Undersecretary of

State for Public Diplomacy and Public Affairs, Karen

Hughes smiled for the first time in two years.

On the occasion of the official announcement of Karl

Rove's resignation, Karen Hughes had a chance to take

a rare look inward. She obviously didn't like what she saw.

So as to avoid being overheard by the National Security Agency,

Karen Hughes whispered, “If you don’t let go of my arm, Karl,

I’m going to crush your nuts!”

When Karen Hughes whispered, "I want to suck you dry!"

every lonely hair on Karl's head stood at attention.

Karen Hughes, Undersecretary of State for Public Gaffes

and Faux Pas, stepped into it again today when she

declared, "As we all know, Kahlil Gibran was a lifelong

advocate of capitalism and the free enterprise system.

That's why he wrote his greatest work, The Profit Motive."

Speaking at an inter-faith meeting at Georgetown University

last Wednesday, Karen Hughes, Undersecretary of State for

Diplomacy, rebuked Midge Decter for having said of her a

few weeks ago, "She is a disaster." "If I had a husband like

Norman Podhoretz and a son like John Podhoretz," Hughes

concluded, "I'd probably be off my rocker, too."