Karl Rove Outlining the Republican Strategy Against Clinton, Obama:

'Give Them a Bad Rap'!

"Yeah, Josh, the fortune-telling function of my Blackberry

says the Senate Judiciary Committee will vote in December to

hold us in contempt for refusing to testify about the U. S.

attorney purge scandal. Well, it's only August here in

Minneapolis, right after the I-35 bridge collapse. So I

suppose we'll cross that bridge when we come to it,

assuming, of course, it doesn't collapse, too.

Karl Rove Waiting for His Brain to Catch Up with His Mouth

"And that's when I told Charlie Rose I was opposed

to holding the pre-war Iraq vote just ahead of the

2002 elections. You should have seen the look on

his face!"

Karl Rove Publishes First Newsweek Column;

Readers Say It's a Better Sleep Aid Than Rozerem™

Karl Rove said yesterday liberal blogs, like DailyKos, use

more bad words than conservative blogs, like Townhall.

That's because liberal blogs quote Karl Rove saying things--

such as “We will fuck him. Do you hear me? We will fuck him.

We will ruin him. Like no one has ever fucked him!”--that

conservative blogs don't.

Dipstick

Dipshit

"If I may tell the truth for the first time in my life, Mr.

President, I'll never forgive you for calling me 'Turd Blossom'."

"Well, Karl, at the moment the biggest name in search

of a brain is Britney Spears. Interested?"

"Joe, my latest plot is so fiendish that even

the Devil won't have anything to do with it."

"When Karl Rove speaks," writes Gloria Borger, "the political

class pays attention—usually with good reason: he's a genius,

at the head of our class of subgeniuses."

George Bush and Karl Rove, Two Men Who

Will Go Down, Down, Down in History

"Hey, what's my picture doing on the front page of

USA Yesterday?"

Bush's Brain: the Next Generation

Scott Jennings was really miffed when he

was outmaneuvered for the hand of Jenna

Bush by another aide to Karl Rove.

"Hmmm, I always thought the Highway to Hell

would be wider than this."

In a botched attempt to plagiarize a former Vice President,

Karl Rove yesterday described President Bush's critics as

"elite, effete snobs." What Spiro Agnew actually said was

"an effete corps of impudent snobs."

Karl Rove in Mourning for Lies Left Untold

"Susan Ralston is learning to 'sing'.

Got you booked on the 3:10 to Yuma.

See you soon. Dan Evans."

Congress Trying to Subpoena Karl Rove