Undersecretary of State Nicholas Burns Steps Down,

Says He Couldn't Stand Condoleezza Rice a Minute Longer

Condi Rice Impersonator Exposed as Hugo

Chavez Mole in the Mickey Mouse Club

Tiny Condi

"Easy, Bernard! This is a temporary greeting,

not a permanent graft!"

"Condi,

Nice gams.

Makin' me horny!

George"

Grasping at straws at an unprecedented rate, the

State Department has just received an emergency

resupply from China.

"One would have to apply the facts to the law, the law

to the facts, to determine whether any technique,

whatever it happened to be, would cause severe physical

pain or suffering. I'm John Bellinger, State Department

counsel, and I would be browner if I didn't take a stool

softener every day."

"Karen Hughes has carried out her work as the President's

Sycophant-in-Chief in spectacular fashion."

Trick-or-Treater Shows Up Early on Condi's Doorstep

Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice doesn't look down at

her inferiors. No, she only looks up to her superiors, like

President Bush and

"Hey, the last cartilaginous fish to show up at the

Rice-Bean Vegan Cookoff is a rotten egg!"

Night of the Living Dead

George and Condi join John and Janette aboard

the Good Ship Lollipop.

"Whaddya mean OxiClean can't remove the Iraq War

stain from my legacy?"

Lobbyist Greasing the Skids for Condi Rice's

Return to Stanford University

"Well, Condoleezza, you can take your double E and

double Z and suck. on. this!"

"What do you mean when you say I'm the biggest

embarassment to women and minorities to come along

since Tawana Brawley?"

"Even if I had cleavage, I wouldn't show it like

that tart from New York!"

"'I'm sure you must be weary, dear, with soaring up so high;Will you rest upon my little bed?' said the Spider to the Fly."

"See the guy over there with all the gray hair and glasses?

That's Richard Cohen, columnist for the Washington Post.

He's the one, you remember, who said you are a 'neoliberal'

and a 'sentimental softie'. Pardon my French, Mr. President,

but I know a douchebag when I see one."