"You must have taken a wrong turn. This is the War

Process. The Peace Process is three blocks south."

Named to succeed Karen Hughes as Undersecretary of State

for Public Diplomacy and Public Affairs, James K. Glassman

has already started working on his next book, 36,000 A.D.:

Time to Invest in the Middle East Peace Process.

"Funny, Karen, Jim Glassman doesn't kiss on the lips, either."

Rip Van Winkle awakened after a 4,000-year nap only to

discover people in the Middle East were still killing each other.

He is now trying to go back to sleep, so far unsuccessfully.

Mahmoud Abbas Expelled from Middle East

Peace Conference for 'Looking Too Scary'

Middle East Peace Process Washes Up on Lebanese Beach

Petra Man Gets His Ass in a Crack

"Allah be praised and all that, gentlemen, but this

bowing and scraping is blowing my knees to hell."

Tony Blair didn't waste any time getting the

hell out of the Middle East.