Reduced to tears by the National Intelligence Estimate,

Mahmoud Ahmadinejad now suspects U. S. intelligence

agencies are conspiring to undermine his presidency.

New York Daily News Fills Vacuum Created

by Demise of Weekly World News

“In Iran we don’t have homosexuality like you have in America.

In Iran we don’t have this phenomenon. I don't know who has told

you that we have it. Believe me, those in your nation who fear or

hate homosexuals could really relax and kick back in my country."

"Hugo, baby, do you know where I could get my hands

on some petrol--and quick? This rationing shit is a

real pain in the gas!"

Iranian President Cries for Help As the Past

Squeezes Him Out of the Picture

President of Iran Reads Instructions for Docking

with the Blimp of Bahrain

Mahmoud Ahmadinejad claims he is an adherent of

the Philosophy of the Open Hand. Don't believe it.

He's left-handed.

The President of Indonesia was taken aback

when Mahmoud embraced him and cried,

"Kiss me, you fool, kiss me!"

Out of the corner of his eye, the president of Iran

thought he saw a missile pointed straight at his head.

He was relieved when he realized it was just the tip of a

witch's hat, worn by someone who had fallen asleep during

his speech.