Don't be a swine and pronounce Gloria's

last name, Bór-ger. It's Bor-zhér.

"You told the entire platoon that you were the father of

Nicole Richie's child. So why, Private Bootlicker, was

she named Harlow Winter Kate Madden?"

"O Lord, how thankful I am my last name isn't

Coonrod, Lipschitz, Pujol, Sidebottom, or Cocks."

"My name is Chung Dong-young, and, no, my

father's name is not Chung Dong-old."

Turkey's leaders--Tayyip, Hayati, Kursad, and Zafer--

vote unanimously to change their names to Peter,

Andrew, James, and John.

Serena Changes Name to Passionata