Survey Finds Many Turks Looking for Greener Pastures,

But Not Finding Any

Turkey Quarantined After Attempting to

Invade Northern Iraq

Sukru Elekdag didn't know how much longer he could

keep balancing Turkey's political leadership on his head.

If you are fishing for Turkish soldiers, did you

know you can run a trot line with up to 25 hooks

on a non-commercial license?

Turkey's leaders--Tayyip, Hayati, Kursad, and Zafer--

vote unanimously to change their names to Peter,

Andrew, James, and John.

Abdullah Gul, President of Turkey and

Patron Saint of Lighting Technicians

"Pardon me, boys, but I need to put out this brushfire

war before it erupts into a full-scale conflagration."

Members of Turkish Parliament Come to Blows Over Issue

of Nonviolent Invasion of Kurdistan

The little girl did the only sensible thing when the

Ottoman Military Band was playing: cover her ears.