"Father, thank you for a new year.

And, uh, please don't forget me on

January 3."

"O Lord, how thankful I am my last name isn't

Coonrod, Lipschitz, Pujol, Sidebottom, or Cocks."

"Is that you, Mama?"

Jesus said: "But thou, when thou prayest, enter into

thy closet, and when thou hast shut thy door, pray to

thy Father which is in secret; and thy Father which

seeth in secret shall reward thee openly." So where's

this guy's closet?

"Yes, brethren, General Petraeus made it to #2 on

the Daily Telegraph's list of the Most Influential

Conservatives in America because he understands

the power of prayer."

Why There Are Atheists

"Bless this tank, O Lord, that with it we may blow our

enemies to tiny bits, in thy mercy."

A Skeptic's Prayer

"O God (if you exist),

please send Tony Blair to Hell (if it exists)."

President Bush prays often, but his prayers never

rise more than fifty feet into the atmosphere,

where they hit the 'You Gotta Be Shitting Me' barrier.

The Iraqi boy kept his prayers to Allah short and sweet.

The Iraqi boy kept his prayers to Allah short and sweet.

Little Known Fact #1

Even after going to hell, some people keep praying.

"Our Father, as we look ahead to almost

three more years of the Bush Administration,

may tempus fugit, but even faster."