Right before he bit his index finger, Justice Lou

Costello exclaimed, ""I'm a baaaad boy!"

"Since my former buddy Tony Scalia refused to do it, I will take

the actions necessary to remove my name from the Texas ballot,

including, but not limited to, using Liquid Paper, Fruit Slice

Erasers, Felt Chalkboard Erasers, Bristle Whiteboard Erasers,

Wite-Out Correction Tape, and U. S. Marshall John 'The Eraser' Kruger."

A judge on the Supreme Court of the Philippines was fired

recently for claiming he could see into the future and for

admitting he consulted imaginary mystic dwarfs. Students

of jurisprudence here in the U. S. say these views are not all

that different from those espoused by Justice Antonin Scalia,

except that he claims he can see into the past.

Godfather of Lou Costello Crime Family

Spotted Fleeing Scene of Raid on Bush, Inc.

After he referred to his opponents as 'coglioni'

[Italian slang for 'testicles', variously translated

as 'morons', 'cretins', 'arseholes', and 'pricks'],

President Berlusconi strongly denied he had taken

lessons in Pig Latin from Justice Scalia.

Justice Thomas is really hacked that

Nino has dumped him for Sammy.

Prominent Italian-American Jurist Identified As

Godfather of Lou Costello Crime Family

Scalito

For having said

'vaffanculo' in church, Justice

Scalia has had his duck hunting

license revoked.

Just seconds after this photo was taken,

Justice Scalia vaporized a reporter

with his lethal 'Chin Flick' gesture.

In a recent speech at the University of Freiburg,

Justice Antonin Scalia explained how his

'originalist' theory of Constitutional

interpretation applied to the pressing issue

of 'weightism'.

Justice Scalia couldn't decide which he liked better:

duck hunting with Dick Cheney in Louisiana,

or watching Anna Nicole Smith present her

stimulating 'wall-to-wall' oral argument

before the Supreme Court.