If you like the outdoors, drinking, and fondling firearms--but

not hunting--maybe you should consider becoming a biathlete.

Draft Gore? Draft Gingrich? Are you kidding?

It's Oktoberfest. It's time to draft beer!

"Good grief, George! Can't you take three steps

without acting like the town drunk?"

"Mustn't .. fail .. field .. sobriety .. test.

Walk ..... and ..... Turn."

We used to wonder why astronauts wore funny

hats before blasting off into space. Now we don't.

"Just humor the old sot. He thinks he's the only thing

holding the wall up."

Renato didn't kid around when he drank a glass of beer.

"Me drunk? Zounds, matey! Eight cups of this Danish

grog doesn't even wet me whistle!"

When nobody's looking, Benito chug-a-lugs his beer

straight out of the bottle.

Whereas you are no doubt aware of the problem of

binge drinking, you may not be aware of the problem

of pasta slamming.