Mitt Romney, who has portrayed himself as a Washington

outsider and blasted his opponents’ ties to lobbyists, has

13 federally-registered lobbyists raising money for his

campaign and several other lobbyists serving as his

advisers. Why are we not surprised by this duplicity?

"I'm gonna wash that Mitt right outta my hair!"

"And if I'm elected President, all illegal immigrants will be

deported, all people with AIDS will be quarantined, all

homosexuals will be exiled to Ganymede, the Constitution will

be replaced by God's Will, everybody will be required to keep

and bear arms, a squirrel will be in every popcorn popper,

and the Confederate flag will fly over everything.

Come, Lord Jesus!"

Time-Lapse Photograph of Mitt Romney's Position

on the Issues Over the Past Ten Years

New Mason-Dixon Poll Shows McCain and Huckabee

Redneck and Redneck in South Carolina

Karl Rove Outlining the Republican Strategy Against Clinton, Obama:

'Give Them a Bad Rap'!

"If you think of this turkey manure as votes, Mitt Romney got more of it

yesterday than John McCain did in Michigan's Republican Primary."

"I can't say I fully understand Rudy Giuliani's campaign

strategy, but if his intent is to get fewer votes than Ron

Paul, it would seem to be working."

Alarmed by the populist tone of both the Democratic and

Republican presidential campaigns, Tom Donohue, President

of the U. S. Chamber of Commerce, says: “We plan to build a

grass-roots business organization so strong that when it bites

you in the butt, you bleed.” Sounds like a mad dog, doesn't he?

Looks like one, too.

Watching political apparatchiks at work--regardless of

party--is like shopping for Pringles: you know the crisps

are all canned and are all the same size. The only difference

is a bit of artificial flavoring.

"OK, it's time for you folks to either fish or cut bait.

If you think the race for President is a beauty contest,

I'm the obvious choice. But if you think it's a debate

over issues, vote for Ron Paul."

South Carolina Republican Presidential Debate

Additional Proof That Dinosaurs Still Exist

Rudy Giuliani has discovered an ingenious method for giving

his campaign staff a 100% tax cut: just don't pay 'em!

Fred Thompson Before He Took His MetamucilFred Thompson After

New Hampshire's Republican primary only proved that

more Republicans would rather die with John McCain

than live free with Mitt Romney.

Giuliani Airlines Flight 911 Hits a Patch of Rough Air

"There's absolutely nothing genuine about Ed Rollins.

Even his teeth are false."

"If I had my way," says Ed Rollins, Huckabee's campaign

manager, "I would drop to my knees and fire at the groin

of Mitt Romney. When he fell, I would then kick him in

the teeth. It's like being a boxer when you're young. To me,

hitting somebody, knocking somebody down, is a great feeling."

"When the barber said, 'Shave and a haircut, six bits', I

thought I had died and gone to Arkansas."

Aliens Walk Among Us