Demented Woman Arrested Wearing Crown and Furs;

Claims She's the Queen of England

The King and Queen of Saudi Anglia

Kharis stunned the audience when he wiped juice from

a tanna leaf on the Queen's glove.

"God!" Dick thought, "the Queen looks old enough to

be George's mother."

"Are you sure Alfred Hitchcock said he buried

the MacGuffin here, Your Royal Highness?"

The rumors about the President's sexual orientation began

on the day he winked at the old queen.

The Queen couldn't be sure, but she thought she heard

someone yell "Oh shut up, Big-nose!" during the singing

of The Star-Spangled Banner.

"What's this 'quid' shit, Your Highness? If you want to buy

my hat, you'll have to pay in good old American wampum."

The Dingbat in the Hat

Helen Mirren was fated to bear a strong resemblance to

Queen Elizabeth. So she turned fate to her advantage

by winning an Academy Award for Best Actress for her

performance in The Queen. It was a textbook example

of turning a sow's ear into a silk purse.