After the polar ice cap melted, Santa moved his

operation to the Caribbean.

Santa's Helpers, the Reason He's Such a Jolly Old Elf

"Señor Santa, the children are beginning to suspect that

you enjoy chasing sleighs more than bringing toys."

Global Warming Persuades Santa the Time Has

Come to Trade His Sleigh for a Rowboat

"Dear Santa,

We still believe in you.

Please leave Dad big bags of dough under

the Christmas tree. He's going to need them.

We've been awfully nice this year.

Enjoy the milk and cookies.

The Romney Boys"

Acting U.S. Surgeon General Rear Adm. Steven K. Galson

has called Christmas off this year because Santa Claus is

too fat and the Grinch is too skinny.

After an exhausting night delivering Christmas presents around

the world, Santa Claus collapsed on the beach. Just before he

closed his eyes for a well-deserved nap, he was heard to say:

"With enemies like Bill O'Reilly, thank God I have some friends

like the folks at Bildungblog."

George Bush has been so bad this year Santa is taking

back the lump of coal he gave him last year.

Donald Rumsfeld has been so bad this year

Santa is not even giving him a lump of coal.

When he was driven out of the country by thesecular progessives, Santa Claus promised,"Bill O'Reilly, I shall return!"

Today, he did.

Bill O'Reilly's Army Singing 'Onward Christmas Soldiers'

The Santa Claus Army is getting ready to march in

support of those frontline soldiers, like Bill O'Reilly,

who are in danger of being pushed back in the

Great War On Christmas.