On their return trip home, the Three Wise Men took a

wrong turn and ended up in Portugal.

Santa's Helpers, the Reason He's Such a Jolly Old Elf

"Señor Santa, the children are beginning to suspect that

you enjoy chasing sleighs more than bringing toys."

Sean Hannity and Rudy Giuliani, Cheap Tools

"Don't buy cheap tools, thats how you get

yer knuckles busted."

Fearguth has been tagged by the author of this immortal line.

As taggee, he reiterates

Da Rulez

1. Link to the person that tagged you, and post the rules on your blog.

2. Share Christmas facts about yourself.

3. Tag seven random people at the end of your post,

and include links to their blogs.

4. Let each person know that they have been

tagged by leaving a comment on their blog.

Welcome to the Christmas Edition of "Getting to Know Your Friends"

1. Wrapping or gift bags? "E-mail gift cards require neither."2. Real or artificial tree? "What tree?"3. When do you put up the tree? "See #2."4. When do you take the tree down. "See #3."5. Do you like egg nog? "Yum!"6. Favorite gift received as a child? "First bike, a J. C. Higgins."7. Do you have a nativity scene? "Can't remember. Too young at the time."8. Worst Christmas gift you ever received? "Brilliantine hair oil."

9. Mail or email Christmas cards? "Neither. Sent link to

'I've Been Scrooged' and "Go Elf Yourself" online animations this year."

10. Favorite Christmas Movie? "Elf."11. When do you start shopping for Christmas? "Shopping? No comprende."12. Favorite thing to eat at Christmas? "Food."13. Clear lights or colored on the tree? "See #4."14. Favorite Christmas song(s)? "Here Comes Santa Claus."15. Travel at Christmas or stay home? "Stay home."16. Can you name all of Santa’s reindeer? "Does Rudolf count?"17. Angel on the tree top or a star? "See #13."18. Open the presents Christmas Eve or Christmas Morning? "What presents?"19. Most annoying thing about this time of year? "December."20. Do you decorate your tree in any specific theme or color? "See #17."21. What do you leave for Santa? "Which one?"22. Favorite ornament? "See #20."

As tagger, Fearguth has selected:

I Beati

American Street

The Aristocrats

Zen Comix

Milsabor

Welcome to Pottersville

A Big Fat Slob

Blitzen to Retire After 185 Years of Service;

"He Will Be Missed," Santa Says

Nativity Scene with Joseph, Mary, and Sandy Underpants

"Dear Santa,

We still believe in you.

Please leave Dad big bags of dough under

the Christmas tree. He's going to need them.

We've been awfully nice this year.

Enjoy the milk and cookies.

The Romney Boys"

Golden Retriever Happy the House of Representatives Has Recognized Christmas As the Holiday Celebrating the Birth of Santa Claus

By a vote of 372-9, the U. S. House of Representatives has passed a

bipartisan resolution proclaiming that Christmas is "a holiday of

great significance to man's best friend."

If the U. S. didn't have such restrictive gun control

laws, you might find a rocket-propelled grenade

launcher under the Christmas tree this year.

Just in Time for Christmas!

Chavez Forever Dolls!

For Sale: Cheap!

Here's a gift for that special someone on your

Christmas shopping list who has everything:

a year's supply of whirling dervishes.

"Onward, shopping soldiers, marching as to war,

with the card of credit going on before."

SSSSHHHHHHH ... Don't Tell Anyone: Al Qaeda Has

Been Routed in Baghdad; FBI Now Warns Al Qaeda May

Have Relocated to Shopping Malls in LA, Chicago, Just

in Time for Christmas

Be careful what you wish for. All Kermit Cintron wanted

for Christmas, for example, was his two front teeth.

These beluga whales want you to know there are

only 155 shopping days left until Christmas.

In keeping with the spirit of the season, it has been

revealed that Flora, a virgin komodo dragon, has

laid fertilized eggs, due to hatch on Christmas Day.

Bill O'Reilly's Army Singing 'Onward Christmas Soldiers'

The Santa Claus Army is getting ready to march in

support of those frontline soldiers, like Bill O'Reilly,

who are in danger of being pushed back in the

Great War On Christmas.