Mitt Romney, who has portrayed himself as a Washington

outsider and blasted his opponents’ ties to lobbyists, has

13 federally-registered lobbyists raising money for his

campaign and several other lobbyists serving as his

advisers. Why are we not surprised by this duplicity?

"I'm gonna wash that Mitt right outta my hair!"

Time-Lapse Photograph of Mitt Romney's Position

on the Issues Over the Past Ten Years

"Here's my economic stimulus plan for Michigan:

double the size of Gitmo and move it to Detroit."

The Politico Illustrated #5"Mitt-Huck brawl blazes"

Republican Willard 'Mitt' Romney said Wednesday that

if elected President he and his wife will not embarrass the

nation by their conduct in the White House as happened in

the Clinton years. "There could be, however, a few

more rats running around, " he added.

"There's absolutely nothing genuine about Ed Rollins.

Even his teeth are false."

"If I had my way," says Ed Rollins, Huckabee's campaign

manager, "I would drop to my knees and fire at the groin

of Mitt Romney. When he fell, I would then kick him in

the teeth. It's like being a boxer when you're young. To me,

hitting somebody, knocking somebody down, is a great feeling."

Aliens Walk Among Us

"The Clutching Hand says 'Our most basic

civil liberty is the right to be kept alive'."

"I agree!"

"So do I!"

"Me, too!"

"It definitely has the ring of truth!"

"Absolutely!"

"Yeah, it's even more soul-stirring than 'Better Red Than Dead'!"

"Sorry, guys, but I'm so moved I'm about to shed

my first crocodile tear!"

Mitt Romney's experimentation with LDS in his early 20s

may explain why he now has flashbacks to things that

never happened.

Mitt Romney's march across Iowa has raised

hopes of his impending defeat.

"'Mitt' is the name I'll use when I run for President,

little one. 'Willard' would scare them off."

"When I said I saw my father marching with Martin Luther

 King, I was speaking figuratively. It would be like if I

said right now I'm Samson slaying all you Philistines with

the jawbone of an ass."

"Dear Santa,

We still believe in you.

Please leave Dad big bags of dough under

the Christmas tree. He's going to need them.

We've been awfully nice this year.

Enjoy the milk and cookies.

The Romney Boys"

National Review Endorses Governor Not-Huckabee

"Fred's agreed to play Dives the rich man in the Christmas

pageant. How about you playing Lazarus, the beggar

covered with sores?"

"Isn't it amazing how I was able to explain my faith

by uttering the word, 'Mormon', only once? We in

the Inner Circle understand this. Those of you in

the Outer Circle don't."

Dinner for Someone on a Starvation Diet

"OK, Mitt, here's my final offer: you can have the

nomination if I can have your hair."