When he awoke, the Silver Surfer sensed that

something was not quite right with his legs.

"Maybe someday," Spider-Man thought, "I won't have to

wear this ridiculous costume and hyphenate my name.

One can only hope."

No matter how often and how loudly he shouted, "Shazam!"

Bhili Bhatson still didn't turn into Captain Marvel.

After President Bush called him "a man of steel,"

Prime Minister Howard admitted that he was,

indeed, Superman.

Kashmiri Youths in Flight Training for the

Commando Cody Squadron

Superman Learning to Leap Tall Buildings in a Single Bound

Chickenman Struck Down by Bird Flu

Captain America Jilted by Miss USA

Jiminy Cricket Batmobile

Artist's Rendition of Brightest Supernova Yet Seen

Actually Portrays Destruction of Planet Krypton

George Bush As Right-Wing Superhero, Uncle Slam

Q: Why does Alain 'Spider-Man' Robert climb skyscrapers?

A: Because they are there.

Q: Why are they there?

A: Because we are here.

Q: Why are we here?

A: Don't ask Alain.

Q: Why?

A: Because he does not know.

Q: Why does he not know?

A: Because he is too busy climbing.