Next Week on The History Channel

"The Most Unforgettable Character I Never Met:

Fearguth Reminisces About His Imaginary Encounters

with Benazir Bhutto, Daughter of Destiny"

Is Nawaz Sharif the only thing left standing between

total collapse and utter catastrophe in Pakistan?

Jackson and Dave, Dick Cheney's Dogs of War,

Awaiting Orders to Stabilize Pakistan

"I'm passing you the baton, Ashfaq,

but I'm keeping the $10 billion

Brother Bush gave me."

Proof That the $10 Billion the U. S. Gave to

Pervez Musharraf Has Been Well Spent

"Dear Mushie,

Hope you're enjoying the $10 billion in cash I sent.

Your Buddy,

George"

Citing economies of scale and the importance of competitve

balance, War Czar Douglas Lute is calling for the merger

of all conflicts in the Middle East and South Asia--in

Iraq, Iran, Pakistan, Israel/Palestine, and Afghanistan--

into one general megawar. "For want of a better term,

let's just call it World War III," he says.

"Tell us, President Musharraf, is Pakistan experiencing

a crackup or a crackdown? The world wants to know!"

"The government of Pakistan is falling apart, America!

It's time to commit the Fallacy of Ignoratio Elenchi

and bomb the shit out of Iran!"

You know things must be bad in Pakistan when

lawyers there are the good guys.

No matter how often and how loudly he shouted, "Shazam!"

Bhili Bhatson still didn't turn into Captain Marvel.

World's Worst Jobs #51

Pakistani Salt Miner

"Whaddya think, Kalil? Should we issue a

carry permit for this sucker?"

Pakistani Seminarian Advancing the 'Locked and Loaded'

Argument for the Existence of God

Pakistani Literary Critic Taking It to the Streets

A Pakistani court has sentenced Shumail Raj and his wife,

Shezina Tariq, to jail on the grounds that the husband is

actually a woman and that same-sex marriages are against

Islam. Upon arriving at the jail, however, the wife admitted

she is actually a man who happens to be extremely modest.

Pakistani Lawyer Named 'Best Dressed Demonstrator' of 2007

Using nothing more than a crude hand telescope,

a North Korean boatman claims he can see Osama

bin Laden hiding out somewhere in Pakistan.