The soldier's ears were gradually sliding off his head,

and there was nothing he could do to stop it.

"I'm gonna keep on walkin'

keep on talkin'

walkin' into freedom land!"

The Day the Mummy Got Drafted

On day one in the Peoples' Liberation Army,

you are liberated from your self-esteem,

along with your clothes.

The only military force less feared than the Mexican Navy

is the Nicaraguan National Guard.

If you are fishing for Turkish soldiers, did you

know you can run a trot line with up to 25 hooks

on a non-commercial license?

The day finally arrived when parity was reached between citizens

and soldiers: for every citizen, there was a soldier, and vice versa.

They called it 'World Peace'.

Russian Doctors Baffled by 'Vladivostok Syndrome'

"Isn't it amazing, Mr. Vice President, how we are able to

make grown men wear ridiculous uniforms and stand

at attention while we strut like Oriental potentates?"

"You're absolutely right, comrade! The leg bone is connected to

the knee bone, the knee bone is connected to the thigh bone,

and the thigh bone is connected to the hip bone. Never before

in all my years in the Russian army have I seen such an intricate

piece of machinery!"

"Are you sure you don't have some more chest tucked

away somewhere?"

"If you don't ask, I won't tell."

"Has anyone ever told you that you have beautiful eyes?"

If these dudes from the Sudanese Liberation Army pull

up in your driveway, you probably ought to tell them you've

already been liberated.

If these dudes from the Sudanese Liberation Army pull

up in your driveway, you probably ought to tell them you've

already been liberated.