Those who live in the Kristol Palace

should not throw stones.

"Are They That Afraid Of Bill Kristol?" asks Ed Morrissey.

No, but they are that afraid of someone who says, "Oh,

my stars and garters!"

"We have views on our Op-Ed page," writes Andrew Rosenthal,

"that are as hawkish or more so than Bill Kristol's. Take the

views of Swainson Hawke, for instance."

"We are thrilled to add Bill Kristol’s distinctive voice to our

Op-Ed page,” said Andrew Rosenthal, editorial page editor

of the New York Times. "He is a captivating writer, a keen

observer of the political landscape, and an even better

speller than I was in the third grade."

"I'm thrilled to announce I have been hired by the

New York Times, an irredeemably second-rate

newspaper which should be prosecuted by the

Justice Department for gratuitously revealing

classified information."

Bill Kristol Having a Wargasm

"Whenever I hear anything described as a heartless assault on

our children, I tend to think it's a good idea. I'm happy that thePresident's willing to do something bad for the kids."

Bill Kristol, the editor of The Weekly Standard, is older

than he looks. He just has what is called a 'baby face'.

“If I were a Sunni extremist and was worried, which I would be,

about a doubling of U.S. forces in Baghdad, what would I do?

I would try to convey an impression of chaos. Of course, I'm

not an extremist. I am just a neoconservative trying to convey

a fair-and-balanced impression of incoherence.”

Having descended to the Second Circle of Hell

(with seven more to go), Irving Kristol, the founder

of neoconservatism, is already beginning to doubt

whether fathering Bill was a good idea.

Al-Qaida has so successfully terrorized neoconservatives

that they never appear in public these days without wearing

bombproof suits. This, for instance, is William Kristol mall

walking last Monday afternoon.

On Sunday, Bill Kristol announced he was sending his son,

a Harvard undergraduate, on a secret mission to Iraq

for the purpose of 'taking out' al-Zarqawi.

Asked when, Bill replied:

"Right after he finishes his Ph.D."