World's Worst Yobs #27

Fred Barnes

Bill Kristol Having a Wargasm

The brains of most people have Right Hemispheres and Left

Hemispheres. Fred Barnes' brain has Magdeburg Hemispheres.

Geraldo Rivera, Bill O'Reilly, and Michelle Malkin:

the Three Warning Signs of Creeping Americanitis

"News, news! I gotta have more news!"

O'Reilly the Ostrich screamed at the top of his lungs for a very long

period of time, stuck his head in the sand, and then laid an egg.

"I may be partisan as hell, but I'm smart enough to

know that neither the Republican Party nor the

Democratic Party gives a shit about the so-called

'little man'. Both parties are just masks worn by

Big Money, the only difference between the two

being that the Republicans aren't afraid to take

off their masks and the Democrats are."

"You'll be happy to know, General Petraeus, that the Senate

will vote 72-25 to condemn this outrageous ad from MoveOn

which appeared in The New York Times. Soon after, that

august body will vote unanimously to put you on the fasttrack

to sainthood."

Large Meteorite Collides with Earth, Wipes

Out All Dinosaurs Except Bill O'Reilly

On Monday, Ann Coulter set a new personal record while

commenting on the Petraeus hearing for Fox News. In less

than 45 seconds, she was able to say the mainstream media

and the Democrats are "completely treasonous," they "hate

the troops," they "think the troops are a bunch of illiterate,

toothless rapists," and "they are rooting for al Qaeda."

Afterwards, Ms. Coulter said that with more practice,

she could shave at least 15 seconds off her new record.

At both ends of the Axle of Applesauce, there are big wheels

destined to fall off: Bill O'Reilly and Sean Hannity.

"I know what you mean, George. We politicians are

about as popular as a carbuncle on Roger Ailes' ass."

Though dead, the Fox News mascot was still balanced,

if not fair.

"Did you hear Paris Hilton completed her first night in jail?"

"I declare! Do you do anything besides butt heads and watch

Fox News?

John Gibson, calling himself “the whitest man in America,

who is the black man’s best friend,” has been diagnosed with

ooga booga fever, which, doctors say, he contracted from some

godforsaken hellhole in the Third World called Fox News.

John Gibson, the whitest white man in America, has urged the

viewers of his Fox News show to “Make More Babies!” In a

related development, the Fox Network is giving serious consideration

to a new reality show, in which white people will be pitted against

brown people in a reproduction showdown. The working title is

“The Great North American Fuckoff.”

Fox News Hires New 'Unfair and Unbalanced'

Political Analyst

Khaled Meshaal Watching Fox & Friends on Wingnut TV

Fox News Headline #1

WHY DO LIBERALS FAVOR RESURRECTINGYASSER ARAFAT FROM THE DEAD?

Beltway Boy Mort Kondracke Exposed as Leader of

Obscure Group of Chin Fetishists