Lord Black of Crossharbour Sentenced to 6 1/2 Years

of Writing on the Walls of His Prison Cell,

"I Wipe My Ass with the Daily Telegraph!"

Charles Krauthammer is so ingenious he has figured out

a way for both the white pieces and the black pieces to

lose in a game of one-man chess. Every time he plays,

in other words, he's a two-time loser.

German Chancellor Discomfited by French President's

Gloss on Gustave Courbet's 'Desperate Neocon'

"Would you mind explaining how the Halfway

House for Neoconservatives ended up here, in

the middle of the NIE Railroad track?"

"Neighbor, when was the last time you had a big steaming

bowl of Neocon Brand Chili? Well, that's too long!"

The winner of the Mudpit Bellyflop Contest at the 2007 Redneck

Games went on to become a leading neoconservative intellectual

who would argue it would only take ten more Friedman Units for

America to win the Iraq War.

Observers say Senator Lieberman's wounds from the

arrows of outrageous fortune are self-inflicted.

Conrad Black

Conrad Blacker

Conrad Blackest

"I, Fouad Ajami, Majid Khadduri Professor of Middle Eastern

Studies, Paul H. Nitze School of Advanced International Studies,

Johns Hopkins University, do solemnly swear that David Shuster,

pinchhitting for Chris Matthews on Hardball, did, with malice

aforethought, throw a slider into my private parts that did,

in effect, unsex me before the world, especially in front of

my neoconservative friends and allies. Therefore, I demand that

Tweetie be returned to the airwaves ASAP, at least by the time I

re-establish my manhood and stop sounding like the late Beverly

Sills singing to the Muppets."

“If I were a Sunni extremist and was worried, which I would be,

about a doubling of U.S. forces in Baghdad, what would I do?

I would try to convey an impression of chaos. Of course, I'm

not an extremist. I am just a neoconservative trying to convey

a fair-and-balanced impression of incoherence.”

Having descended to the Second Circle of Hell

(with seven more to go), Irving Kristol, the founder

of neoconservatism, is already beginning to doubt

whether fathering Bill was a good idea.

Paul Wolfowitz, President of the World Bank, has been

turned down by Ditech for a loan to purchase some new

shoes and socks from Payless ShoeSource.

Do you know this neoconservative creep? No?

Well, James Woolsey doesn't know you, either.

And for that you should give thanks to whoever

or whatever you give thanks to.

America needs neoconservatism like

it needs gum disease and fallen arches.

Neoconservatives have been shitting so many bricks over

Joe Lieberman's defeat in the Connecticut Democratic

primary that hod carriers are working overtime trying to

keep them neatly stacked.

Richard Perle Just After a

Bit of Iraq Blew into His Left Eye

Master-Blaster

"Sure, neoconservatism should be discarded

on to history's pile of discredited ideologies.

But some of my best friends

are neoconservatives, like Scooter Libby.

So click on the PayPal link and

send him some money NOW."

"And immediately there fell from his eyes

as it had been scales: and he

received sight forthwith."