The little boys wondered what kind of mischief their

wild and crazy parents would think up next.

"Playing with Toy Weapons 'Aids Learning'," Says the

Department for Children, Schools, and Families

"Which imperialist country do you work for, mister?"

If your son were to walk in one day and say, "I've decided

what I want to be when I grow up: I want to be just like

John Boehner," what would you say?

"Mr. President, what's it like to be even more unpopular

than Richard Nixon?"

At a recent education event in New York, President Bush

strongly reiterated his opposition to using children as

political props.

"That's not my Mummy!" the infant cried preternaturally.

"It's absolutely despicable the way the Democrat Party

uses soldiers and children as political props!"

Contrary to popular belief, rightists don't attack just any

child on S-CHIP. They only attack when their weight

advantage is at least 10-1.

The next time you are tempted to feel sorry for yourself,

remember this: Michelle Malkin could have been your mom.

"Whenever I hear anything described as a heartless assault on

our children, I tend to think it's a good idea. I'm happy that thePresident's willing to do something bad for the kids."

American Empire #9

Collateral Damage

If God could see the face of the world,

he would see a child crying in the Congo.

"Hey, ditwads, the parade's over here!"

Lou Piniella, manager of the Chicago Cubs, has been

ejected from adulthood for behaving like he's still in

his Terrible Two's.

The children found the entrance sign for Dangerland irresistible.

Ah, to be able again to nap as a child,

'twould be very heaven.

This young scholar has just won a

Condoleeza Rice Genius Grant, which

he will use to write his four-volume

dissertation, "The Mistakes of the

Bush Administration."