The Unexpurgated Bible #8

"There were dinosaurs in the earth in those days; and

we were in our own sight as grasshoppers, and so we

were in their sight."

The Unexpurgated Bible #7

"But the day of the Lord will come as a thief in the night;

in the which the heavens shall pass away with a great

noise, and the elements shall melt with fervent heat,

the earth also and the works that are therein shall be

burned up. But many bloggers won't notice it, for they

will have taken the weekend off."

The Unexpurgated Bible #6

"And Schwarzenegger looked, and, behold, the bush burnedwith fire, and it was not consumed. So he sued the bush forexcessive carbon dioxide emissions."

The Unexpurgated Bible #5

"And the LORD spake unto the fish, and it vomited out

Jonah upon the dry land. And then he wrote a book."

The Unexpurgated Bible #4

"And Jesus commanded the multitude to sit down on the grass,

and took the fish, weighing 646 pounds, and looking up to heaven,

he blessed, and filleted it, and gave the fillets to his disciples,

and the disciples to the multitude."

The Unexpurgated Bible #3

Jesus said: "And I will give unto thee the Keyes of the kingdom

of heaven. Oops! Did I just say 'Keyes'? Dadgummit, I meant

to say 'Cleese'. Oh well, nobody's perfect!"

The Unexpurgated Bible #2

Archaeologists Excavating Mt. Ararat Uncover Unfinished

Ark; Discovery Suggests Noah Was a Slacker; Find May Also

Explain Why the Post-Diluvian World Has Turned Out

So Badly

The Unexpurgated Bible #1

Ethiopian Eunuch Celebrating His Conversion

to Christianity with Candace, His Queen, While

an Incredulous Philip the Evangelist Looks On