Giuliani Campaign Distances Itself From Supporter's

$9.11-Themed House Party, Says Decimal Point Was Misplaced

The Anchoress Gets All Gussied Up for 9/11

Al-Qaida Sends Cryptic Message to Coincide

with Sixth Anniversary of 9/11

Stu Bykofsky, columnist for the Philadelphia Daily

News, has reportedly built a time machine which

will take him back to September 11, 2001, every

time he feels terrorists need to save America again.

"9/11! Vote for me. September 11, 2001! Vote for me.

WTC collapse! Vote for me. Twin Towers fall down!

Vote for me. The day everything changed! Vote for me.

Extensive marriage experience! Vote for me."

9/11 Mastermind Admits He Lacks Masterbody

"Mr. President, I'm submitting my resignation,

effective April 14, 2006. And, oh, by the way, somebody

just flew a plane into the World Trade Center."