Mike Huckabee Cites Osama Bin Laden As

Proof of the Mormon Belief That

Jesus and the Devil Are Brothers

Fred Thompson kept saying, "Osama bin Laden? No sweat!"

But America could see he was lying.

Osama bin Laden Announces Six-Figure Endorsement Contract with

Just for Men Brush-In Color Gel for Mustache, Beard & Sideburns

Al-Qaida Sends Cryptic Message to Coincide

with Sixth Anniversary of 9/11

Aboard Golf Cart One, Hamid Karzai, the First Lady, and

President Bush were in hot pursuit of Osama bin Laden.

Q: "Mr. President, why is Osama bin Laden still at large?"A: "Why is he at large? Because we haven't got him yet, Jim.

That's why."

"Osama bin Laden believes," says Dinesh D'Souza, "that the United

States represents the pagan depravity that Muslims have a duty to

resist. I have to agree with him on this point, because I, too, as a

devout Christian, have a duty to resist pagan depravity. And, what,

you ask, is 'pagan depravity'? Well, it all boils down to sex: abortion

rights, condoms for unmarried girls, and liberalized laws regarding

homosexuality. Don't you see how this caused the destruction of the

World Trade Center on September 11, 2001? Isn't it as plain and

simple as the sweater I'm wearing?"

Using nothing more than a crude hand telescope,

a North Korean boatman claims he can see Osama

bin Laden hiding out somewhere in Pakistan.

Five years after 9/11, Osama bin Laden is still at large.

Is that a failure of White House policy? "Well," says

Homeland Security Adviser Frances Townsend, "I'm not

sure -- it's a success that hasn't occurred yet. I don't know

that I view that as a failure."