Golden Retriever Happy the House of Representatives Has Recognized Christmas As the Holiday Celebrating the Birth of Santa Claus

By a vote of 372-9, the U. S. House of Representatives has passed a

bipartisan resolution proclaiming that Christmas is "a holiday of

great significance to man's best friend."

Domestic Bottled Water Conducts Committee Hearing

on Proposal to Raise Tariff on Evian™ Imports

Tom Tancredo warns that unless he is elected President of the

United States, he will take revenge on America by refusing

to run for re-election to the House of Representatives.

Iraqi Prime Minister Held Hostage, Day 395

Representative William Jefferson (D-LA) Not Indicted

for Spitting on the Sidewalk

Representative Jerry Lewis (R-CA), under an ethics cloud so big

it threatens to spawn a Category Five storm, has decided to seek

shelter by not running for a 17th term in the House of Representatives.

A spokesman for Mr. Lewis says he plans to spend his retirement

years basking in the praise of the French, who believe he's even

funnier than the famous comedian of the same name.

As he closed the door on the Mark Foley investigation,

Republican Representative Doc Hastings, the outgoing

chairman of the Committee on Standards of Official Conduct,

remarked, "Good golly, somebody must have neglected to

write a rule against negligence."

Congressman John Murtha almost split a seam laughing

at all the Jean Schmidt jokes.

Congressman John Murtha almost split a seam laughing

at all the Jean Schmidt jokes.

Representative Weldon Unleashes the 'Army of Curt'