"Can I help it I was born Sarko the Giant?

It's in my genes!"

When he saw how the Prime Minister of Israel reacted

when he was told the largest bra size you could buy on

the Internet was 58J, Sarko the Giant knew he had found

a new ally.

Domestic Bottled Water Conducts Committee Hearing

on Proposal to Raise Tariff on Evian™ Imports

President Sarkozy and President Boutefilka Meet to

Discuss Algeria's Balance of Noses Deficit with France

Sarko the Giant Replaces Tony Blair

As Bush Toady Par Excellence

Inside the Factory Where They Make Condoms for

Sarko the Giant

“I picked up some new French today. Here goes:

L’État, c’est moi. Laura says it roughly means

the same thing as how 'bout them apples.”

Aerial View of Sarko the Giant

Sarko the Giant Uncovers Le Physique Massif

Arc de Triomphe with Tricolor Tiara

In retirement, Jacques Chirac has more time to look pensive.

Muff Divers Off the Coast of France

"Sarko the Giant here. Where's Jack and the

Beanstalk? You said they'd be here before I could

say, 'Fee! Fi! Foe! Fum!' Well, they're not."

"No tongue, Sarko, no tongue!"

Once the German Chancellor established her legendary

eye-lock, the French Prime Minister didn't have a chance.

Representative Jerry Lewis (R-CA), under an ethics cloud so big

it threatens to spawn a Category Five storm, has decided to seek

shelter by not running for a 17th term in the House of Representatives.

A spokesman for Mr. Lewis says he plans to spend his retirement

years basking in the praise of the French, who believe he's even

funnier than the famous comedian of the same name.

Sarko the Giant's Monarchical Ambition Unmasked

Dominique de Villepin has resigned as France's Prime Minister.

He says he hasn't yet decided what his next prank will be.

Having scarfed down a plate of 'Richard Anconina' Arborio

risotto with creamed asparagus and parmesan flakes at

Fouquet's, Sarko the Giant hurried off to antagonize some

more riff-raff.

France Elects Sarko the Giant to Be Its

First Seven-Foot Napoleon