Sarko the Giant Robbed of Precious Bodily Fluids;

Carla Bruni Rumored to Be Prime Suspect

"Can I help it I was born Sarko the Giant?

It's in my genes!"

When he saw how the Prime Minister of Israel reacted

when he was told the largest bra size you could buy on

the Internet was 58J, Sarko the Giant knew he had found

a new ally.

German Chancellor Discomfited by French President's

Gloss on Gustave Courbet's 'Desperate Neocon'

Sarko the Giant's Wedding Ring to Be Used

as France's First Bitchslapping Arena

President Sarkozy and President Boutefilka Meet to

Discuss Algeria's Balance of Noses Deficit with France

President Nicolas Sarkozy of France was greeted with

cheers and standing ovations today, a sign that France

was forgiven for being wise in opposing the American-led

war in Iraq.

Sarko the Giant Replaces Tony Blair

As Bush Toady Par Excellence

"Sarko, you're no giant! I'm only 5' 6" and

I'm as tall as you. What will I tell my little

Françoise? She believes France is led by

a man a head taller than Kobe Bryant!"

Sarko the Giant Dumps Second Wife After

Steamy Affair with Rainy Day Woman

Inside the Factory Where They Make Condoms for

Sarko the Giant

Sarko the Giant Leaves Them Rolling in the Aisles at the UN

Aerial View of Sarko the Giant

"Don't take this personally, Monsieur Bush,

but you're one crazy fils de pute!"

Sarko the Giant Uncovers Le Physique Massif

"Yeah, Sarko, it's just as the Bible prophesied about

us: 'There were giants in the earth in those days'."

Sarko the Giant Visits the Bush Crime Family

Enclave in Kennebunkumport

"Sarko the Giant here. Where's Jack and the

Beanstalk? You said they'd be here before I could

say, 'Fee! Fi! Foe! Fum!' Well, they're not."

"No tongue, Sarko, no tongue!"

"Tell me, Monsieur Governator, when you hear someone shout,

'Sarko the Giant Rules!', doesn't it remind you of the Predator?"