"And then, children--hold on to your hats!--here's the end

of the story. The blogs became so clogged with ads you

couldn't tell if you were surfing the Net or watching TV."

"Noooooo, I'm not doing a shampoo commercial!

I'm hairing over! Helpppp!"

Yes, Putin's got milk.

Lilliputian Weary of Teardrops Falling on Her Head

"You've got me all wrong, amigos. I work for Chick-fil-A®. Surely

you recognize me from one of those 'Eat Mor Chikin' billboards."

Truth in Advertising #1

Boxwell Brothers Funeral Directors

Amarillo, Texas

Not only did Hugh Yik lose the skating competition, which

was bad enough. But then he was sued by Wyeth Consumer

Healthcare for putting their brand in a bad light.

"You, Viktor Yushchenko, don't know you have halitosis.

That's the insidious thing about it. And even your closest

friends won't tell you."

American Red Cross Denies Fundraising Ad Appeals to

'Prurient Interest'; Organization Officials Emphasize

Its 'Redeeming Social Value'

These Functional Magnetic Resonance Images (fMRI) show

what parts of your brain were destroyed if you watched the

Superbowl commercials on Sunday for Doritos and

Emerald Nuts. The snacks themselves only help to

clog your arteries and destroy your heart.

If this is the best a man can get, why go to all the trouble of

becoming rich and famous, like Roger Federer, Thierry Henry,

or Tiger Woods? Hell, you can buy a can of Gillette Foamy for $1.49.

According to industry critics, tobacco advertising

encourages Haitian voodoo priests to start smoking

before they're old enough to tell one orifice from another.

"Frist and Hastert ought to listen to

what I have to say about this.

'It takes two hands to handle a Whopper'. Period.

And I'll veto any law that says otherwise."