"With your help, I will build a full-scale replica of the Grand

Mosque of Mecca here in China. So call 1-800-321-6675, and

make your pledge today."

"Noooooo, I'm not doing a shampoo commercial!

I'm hairing over! Helpppp!"

Putin's Pocket Fisherman, the Famous Fishing

Pal That Has Thrilled Generations!

Mind in Original Shrinkwrapped Box,

Never Opened

"The candidates for the Republican presidential nomination?

What a bunch of duds! Like I told P. J. O'Rourke and the other

Republican Party Reptiles, there's only one surefire winner

out there: the GEICO Gecko!"

Chased by a gigantic dog, the chuckwagon set

a new land speed record.

"Don't ask me 'where's the beef?', Mr. President.

Maybe it's in Iraq."

"If Fred Thompson, a Republican reptile, can run

for President, so can I!"

Despite having lost handily in the race for Mayor of Truckville,

the Ford pickup was still the President's best friend.