"What say we mogate on over to Hooters and gawk?"

A ДВАДЦАТЬ of Putins

As President of Russia, Vladimir Putin never quite

got the hang of headphones. As Prime Minister,

he will have a second chance.

Czar Putin Proud of His Pecs and His Rod

Putin's Pocket Fisherman, the Famous Fishing

Pal That Has Thrilled Generations!

Yes, Putin's got milk.

Kingpin

Do you know the correct technique for kissing a sturgeon?

If not, Vladimir Putin shows you how.

The time for talk was past. It was time for

George and Vladimir to go mano y mano.

Vladimir Putin to Play Daniel Craig As James Bond

in Remake of From Russia, with Love

The Day Vladimir Putin Forgot to Wear His Elevator Shoes

"These are supersensitive mikes, Vlad. So if

I cut one right now, it will be a Fartissimo!"

Vladimir had to swallow his pride when he agreed to be

photographed alongside Arseniy and Viktor. And that

made him feel unusually gassy.

"I'll let you in on a little secret, Vladimir. Old

man Bush treats me like a dog."

"Whaddya mean you 'forgot' to pack the

flag lapel pin I gave you?"

Vladimir Putin smiled broadly when Sarko the Giant

insisted he was never drunk at the G8 Summit, only

short of breath. "And that's the only shing thort

about me!" he added emphatically.

"If you don't like my pantsuit, Vladimir,

you can go straight to Heiligendamm!"

Russian soldiers say it is difficult to look stuck up and

to keep their eyes on President Putin at the same time.

Putin Watchers

"Since you don't speak Arabic and I don't speak Russian,

it's safe for me to say, 'May Allah's curse rend you in twain,

you smirking morphadite infidel!'"