Does anyone know how creationists reconcile the Theory

of Intelligent Design with the hammerhead shark?

"He's got every turtle here in His hands,

He's got every turtle there in His hands,

He's got every turtle everywhere in His hands,

He's got every turtle in the whole goddam world in His hands!"

And then iGod said, "Let there be iPods."

In a surprise move, the Creator of Heaven and Earth

today awarded the Golden Wingnut Award to all

descendants of Adam and Eve. "OK, so I fucked up

when I made man and woman in my own image,"

the Creator said. "That's what happens when you

start believing you're God."

Butterfly Imagining What God Looks Like

What God Looks Like

If God could see the face of the world,

he would see a child crying in the Congo.

And suddenly there shined round about him a light

from heaven. And he heard a voice saying unto him, "Ben,

Ben, why confuseth thou me by saying 'inflation expectations

appear to remain imperfectly anchored'?"

Pakistani Seminarian Advancing the 'Locked and Loaded'

Argument for the Existence of God

God Shows His Solidarity with All His Gay and Lesbian

Brothers and Sisters

They had been debating the pros and cons of the

Ontological Argument for the existence of God

when someone yelled, "Horseshit!" That's when

Stormy got riled.

"Punxsutawney Phil, do you believe in God?"

"Which one?"

"Why, the Only One!"

"Oh, that God. Most definitely not . . . but I do believe in Phil Connors."

Instead of Heaven, God sent Jerry Falwell straight to Hell, Michigan.

A Skeptic's Prayer

"O God (if you exist),

please send Tony Blair to Hell (if it exists)."

In religion, as in business, there is an inherent

tendency toward monopoly.

God was so boring He even put James Dobson and

George Bush to sleep.

Scott Verplank Giving God a Piece of His Mind

God Trying to Put His Finger on the

Pigeon Overpopulation Problem

And God said, "Let the earth bring forth pigeons that may

fly above the earth in the open firmament of heaven." And

God blessed them, saying, "Be fruitful and multiply." And

they did.

On American greenbacks, we see "In God We Trust."

That's a misprint. It should be "In Gold We Trust."

When he found out he had been

seated on the Left Hand of God, instead

of the Right, the President exclaimed:

"You gotta be pulling my leg from here

to San Antone!"