Although Orlando Cabrera was unaware of it at

the time, his baseball cap, according to Lee Siegel,

signified "a lazily defiant casualness ... a hopelessness

about the possibility of originality ever to fly in the

face of hierarchy." Regardless of what it signified,

Orlando was still able double up Alex Rodriguez

at second base.

Fidel had become pessimistic about what America's economic

downturn portended for global sales of Castro caps.

When approaching an Erogenous Zone, don't forget

to wear your hard hat.

On the day before the Seventh Day of Zappadan,

Fearguth needs some advice. Do you think his

new Zappadan t-shirt, featuring a droll Dugan

cartoon, would look best with his

Red Hot Silly Peppers hat, or his

Sir Spamalot hat?

Drudgery Report #1

Being Matt Drudge's hat would be drudgery.

All Hat, No Cattle

Things to Avoid #9

Wearing a Coiled-Steel Bonnet in an Electrical Storm

Divine Wind Turbans

Vicente Fox, the former President of Mexico, says that despite

George Bush's cowboy image, he is actually scared of horses.

That's why there are no horses on Bush's Crawford ranch and

no pictures of him sitting astride one of those noble beasts.

"Does anybody around here know who invented

these preposterous hats? And while you're at it,

would somebody please tell me who coined the

ridiculous word, 'preposterous'?"

"Lady Musgrave was none too pleased when I said her

hat looked like the north end of a horse headed south."

"Will you come, will you, will you,

will you come to the bower?"

"I might, Fair Maid, I might,

but thy water bill doth affright."

"Would you look at that! What a ridiculous hat!"

Today was to be the big showdown between the Black Hatsand the White Hats. So it was more than a littleembarrassing when he showed up bareheaded.

Is the bishop taking the hat off his own head,

or is he putting it on the priest's head?

Ever so often, you'll hear talk of someone wearing a tinfoil hat.

Many think it's just a figurative expression. Well, it isn't.

If you simply cannot stand to leave your flower garden alone,

you can always take it with you.

If you simply cannot stand to leave your flower garden alone,

you can always take it with you.