Clothes Horse Waiting to Be Re-Shod

"Now, now, Silver, calm down. The Lone Ranger

doesn't love Scout more than you. That's just a

vicious rumor started by Tonto."

If this is the first time you've looked a gift horse

in the mouth, it can be a pretty scary experience.

Never kiss a horse on the mouth before

it gives you its presents.

Vicente Fox, the former President of Mexico, says that despite

George Bush's cowboy image, he is actually scared of horses.

That's why there are no horses on Bush's Crawford ranch and

no pictures of him sitting astride one of those noble beasts.

From time immemorial, horse racing has always had its fans.

The first indication that horses no longer considered

themselves to be beasts of burden was when they

refused to jump.

"Don't EVER say, 'Hi Yo Silver', when you're riding me!

For your information, greenhorn, the name's

Notorious Margie!"

"Lady Musgrave was none too pleased when I said her

hat looked like the north end of a horse headed south."

In his spare time, David Broder breeds bipartisan zebras.

Most people don't know this, but readers of Bildungblog do.

Too late, the winner of the Palio horse race realized Dr.

Hannibal Lecter had wormed his way into the crowd.

Great Misadventures in Science #1

Cloned Dog Believes It's a Clydesdale

They had been debating the pros and cons of the

Ontological Argument for the existence of God

when someone yelled, "Horseshit!" That's when

Stormy got riled.

Have you ever wished you could shake water off the

way a horse does? "Neigh," you say?

Mrs. Ed

When Harry Potter grew up, he developed what

might be called a Pegasus obsession.

"You're right, Hoss. You've thrown a shoe."

You know the main course is going to be sugar-free

cotton candy when you log on to Slate to learn that the

lead article tackles the vexing issue of how the American

people misunderstand the Kentucky Derby. So you decide

to dig deeper into really important issues by clicking on

"Al-Qaida's Funniest Home Videos." But those turn out

to be, when you stop to think about it, almost as funny as

Lou Gehrig's Disease. So what's the point of this online

magazine? There is no point, and that's the point. It's

just a bunch of weisenheimers who get their kicks by

jerking you off.

With $10 million stuffed in her saddlebags,

Katherine Harris waved to the crowd and shouted:

"I'm in this race, and I'm going to win."

Too bad she was riding a 'Three-Gaited Horse',

a horse that 1) trips, 2) stumbles, 3) and falls.