Soccer is a game where the players

are paid for using their heads.

Politics isn't.

After he had endorsed St. McCain for President,

the Last Honest Man thrilled to Toby Keith's

rendition of 'Drink to Me Only with Thine Eyes'.

"Sweet deal, huh? You get my endorsement

and I get the hottie on my right."

Leatherface

Rubberface

Together, John and Joe concocted many fairy tales.

They weren't called the Brothers Grim for nothing.

Have you ever wondered why Joe Lieberman's face looks

like it has been stamped on by somebody wearing a pair

of Dr. Martens Steel Toe Boots? Well, it's because it

has been, and the Senator says he likes it, because "it's the

look of the future. Like Orwell once said, 'If you want a

picture of the future, imagine a boot stamping

on a human face--forever'."

Every generation has its Three Stooges. Our parents had

Larry, Curly, and Moe. We have John, Joe, and Lindsey.

Observers say Senator Lieberman's wounds from the

arrows of outrageous fortune are self-inflicted.

"If they don't play by the rules, we've got to use our force,

and to me, that would include dropping Senator McCain

on Iran to stop them from doing what they're doing."

Senator Lieberman Buys Rose-Colored Glasses in Baghdad Market,

Says "What I see here today is progress, significant progress"

"At least we agree on one thing, Senator Inhofe: Joe

Lieberman is about as funny as a pilonidal cyst."

Dangerstein, Joe Lieberman's Hitman

"You don't need to thumb a ride, Joe. All you need to do

is jump on my bandwagon and we'll roll through the Gates

of Expediency together."

Neolithic Ancestors of George Bush and Joe Lieberman

Uncovered by Italian Archaeologists

"Joe Lieberman says he's open to supporting a Democrat,

Republican, Borg, Andorian, or even an Independent for

President in 2008. Sounds like he's our kind of humanoid."

John McCain and Joe Lieberman Re-Enacting the

Nazi-Soviet Non-Aggression Pact of 1939

"As my good friend, Joe Lieberman, will attest, it is not true

I tell six lies before breakfast. It's twelve lies before lunch."

Senator Joseph Lieberman has a face that even his mother

couldn't love. "Oy," she once uttered despairingly, "my

boychik is looking more and more like Clarabelle without

a seltzer bottle!"

After spending ten days in Iraq, Senator Lieberman returned

to the United States to lead a parade of the Killer Klowns from

Outer Space.

Overcoming seemingly insurmountable odds, Joe Lieberman

has been elected as the president of the moderate, unity

government in Iraq. Asked what it was like to be the first

Jew ever chosen to lead a Muslim nation, Joe raised his

fist and shouted, "Ready or not, Iran, here I come!"