Soccer is a game where the players

are paid for using their heads.

Politics isn't.

New Hampshire's Republican primary only proved that

more Republicans would rather die with John McCain

than live free with Mitt Romney.

After he had endorsed St. McCain for President,

the Last Honest Man thrilled to Toby Keith's

rendition of 'Drink to Me Only with Thine Eyes'.

"Sweet deal, huh? You get my endorsement

and I get the hottie on my right."

When Senator McCain heard that he and Hillary had

been endorsed by the Des Moines Register, he sensed

the days when the dead-tree media made a difference

in the outcome of presidential elections were numbered.

"Do you think if I started using Grecian Formula,

I wouldn't look 178 years old?"

McCain's Mom Rips into Romney, Finds Nothing Inside

Sam Brownback Announces His Endorsement of John

McCain; Not Even Crickets Show Up to Chirp

"Ah, bomb bomb bomb bomb bomb Iran,

Bomb bomb bomb bomb bomb Iran."

Together, John and Joe concocted many fairy tales.

They weren't called the Brothers Grim for nothing.

Every generation has its Three Stooges. Our parents had

Larry, Curly, and Moe. We have John, Joe, and Lindsey.

“By the way, I’m not Episcopalian. I’m Baptist. So, if you

don't mind, call me John the Baptist from now on.”

"It's disgraceful, it's got to be retracted and condemned

by the Democrats, and MoveOn.org ought to be thrown

out of this country, my friends. That's 3.3 million

Americans we can do without."

Ménage Atrocity

"Well, I define 'traditional marriage' as the union of

a man and a woman, no matter how many times they

get married, divorce, commit adultery, fornicate,

or what not."

At the end of day, the Son of Cain sank slowly in the west.

Bob Allen, Republican State Representative and Co-Chair

of John McCain's Florida Campaign, Holds Fundraiser in

Titusville Men's Restroom

Observers say John 'Cauliflower' McCain

is on the verge of hanging up his gloves.

John McCain's Quest for the White House Sinks Deeper

and Deeper Into the Iraq War Quagmire

"If they don't play by the rules, we've got to use our force,

and to me, that would include dropping Senator McCain

on Iran to stop them from doing what they're doing."