"On the other hand, Mildred, the way I see our new Surveillance

Society is this: everybody gets to bore somebody else with their

own Reality Show."

Jackson Pollock's Great-Grandson Painting a Smurf

A new CNN Poll of Poll's shows that more than 66% of the

American people would rather be waterboarded than watch

Glenn Beck on Headline News.

The one thing the matador didn't count on was

the bull's deflector shield.

If Have Gun, Will Travel Were Set in the 21st Century

On tonight's episode of You Bet Your Life, the

secret word was 'Bush'. Since none of the guests

ever uttered it, the wooden Indian never dropped

and the contestants didn't win $100.

Mike Huckabee Decries the 'Arrogant Bunker Mentality'

of the Bush Administration

The descendants of Barney Rubble had seen their fortunes

go steadily downhill ever since the heyday of Bedrock.

Condi Rice Impersonator Exposed as Hugo

Chavez Mole in the Mickey Mouse Club

"What you mean, 'Bush's credibility'?

That heap big oxymoron, Kemo Sabe."

"And that's when I told Charlie Rose I was opposed

to holding the pre-war Iraq vote just ahead of the

2002 elections. You should have seen the look on

his face!"

If we still had Superman around to fight the never ending

battle for truth, justice, and the American way, here's what

Joe Klein would be doing right now.

Watch out! Abby Cadabby is about to put a spell on you!

"Did you know that more than 1,000 professional studies

in the past 30 years all connect TV programming with

excessively violent and promiscuous sexual behavior

in young people? Why, the situation today is almost as bad

as it was when I was fornicating with Ann-Margret in

State Fair back in 1962. Surely you don't want to see a

return of the 1960s, do you? So please fill out Pat Boone's TV

Decency Survey today!"

Fred Thompson says he didn't find it at all unusual

that the the plane he has been borrowing from

Philip Martin, a convicted drug dealer,

was piloted by Dick Dastardly.

The Bush Crime Family During

the Beverly Hillbillies Era

Fireman Fighting Losing Battle Against

Glenn Beck's Incendiary Rhetroic

Fred Skinflintstone

"Now, now, Silver, calm down. The Lone Ranger

doesn't love Scout more than you. That's just a

vicious rumor started by Tonto."

Walker, Texas Ranger, Endorses Mike Huckabee for President;

Analysts Say Move Means Martial Arts and Country-Western

Vote No Longer in Play